Before the Dawn
by Nozomi888
Summary: Yona returns Hak's freedom, but demands Hak give himself to her. Can Hak hope for something more? This was inspired by Chapter 123 of the manga- I wanted some kind of fulfillment regarding the development of YonaxHak (there's just NOT ENOUGH in the manga), and so I made this. I had originally intended this as a one-shot, but now it looks like I'll be spanning a few chapters. :)
1. Chapter 1

**"BEFORE THE DAWN"**

An Akatsuki no Yona fanfic by Nozomi888

[A/N: This was originally intended to be a one-shot (a rated M one, at that), but as I wrote down the story in my head, I'm starting to realize that it will have to span a couple of chapters. This is the first story that I have written since 2003- I'm quite rusty, please bear with me. :) I will start with a K+ rating for now and edit once necessary.]

Disclaimer: Akatsuki No Yona is owned by Mizuho Kusanagi. I am a mere fangirl who loves the characters she has created, and want to read/write more stories about them.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1**

Cursing under his breath, so she couldn't hear him, he fisted his hands and gazed intently into her eyes. Searching… for what? He wasn't sure exactly. In fact, he wasn't sure if he could trust what he just heard.

It was quite late in the evening, and she had called him into the royal chambers past the receiving area, where he usually stayed to keep guard. Moonlight streamed serenely through the double windows, giving them both an eerie, mysterious glow, as they stood face to face. The light was barely enough to make out her full features, and too dim to show the redness of her hair. But the light perfectly caught her beautiful violet eyes.

And those eyes bore into his, just as intently as he was probably doing to her. Time seemed to pass slowly as they both stayed silent.

Her eyes were a bit defiant but her face was composed. Too composed, in fact, as if she had been contemplating on this for the longest time and was determined to see it through. He couldn't be sure anymore.

He didn't _want_ to believe what he had just heard. But her voice had been so clear, so sincere. She had sounded so sure. He tightened his grip on his Hsu Quandao, totally disbelieving, unable to grasp the gravity of her words and her tone.

Her tone. Her voice had not wavered in the slightest.

"Princess, could you… repeat what you just said?"

—o—o—o—o—o—

She could feel herself flush but remained standing in front of him, her eyes never leaving his. In all the scenarios she had played out in her mind, what he was displaying now was not even close to how she imagined he would react. Was what she had said really so unbelievable? She felt a pang in her chest. Or was it because he couldn't fathom what she had just given him?

Hak continued to hold her gaze, his facial features remaining stoic and unchanging. His voice held no impatience, no weariness, no disbelief. It was just like him. Still looking straight into his eyes, she repeated the words that she had practiced ever since she had returned to Hiryuu Castle, her voice strong and clear.

"Hak, I release you from your pledge of servitude to me as commanded by my father, the late emperor. As the 12th sovereign of Kouka, I give you back your freedom. Your days of serving this castle has come to an end. You are free to return to your people, or roam wherever your path takes you. May you live long and free."

Her voice cracked slightly at the end of her spiel, but she thought that she succeeded in holding her tone and her turmoil of emotions from showing in her voice and in her face. It was the second time she said it out loud tonight, and she had practiced the lines over and over until she thought she would be sick of them. But this time, held by his firm gaze, she could feel her heart anguish over each word. She thought she had prepared herself for the pain her own words would bring her, because she knew, she had finally come to _understand_ , just how much she didn't want to let him go. She steeled herself for his response, yet hoped that he would just bop her on the head, like he always did, and shrug off her decree.

She was beginning to feel like shrinking under that contemplative gaze of his, but continued to hold his gaze.

Her heart sank when he finally lowered his gaze, bowed his head and dropped down to one knee.

"As you wish, Princess-my Queen."

She checked the tears that she felt sting her eyes, glad that he had bowed, and so he would not see the dismay in her eyes.

—o—o—o—o—o—

He was stunned.

He was so stunned, that he had to break away from her gaze, had to hide the panic that he could feel overriding his senses. He knew she would find weakness in his eyes if he did not hide them quickly.

"As you wish, Princess- my Queen."

He was thankful for being able to tear himself from her gaze as he dropped down on one knee to show that he had heard, and that he would obey- he wasn't sure if his legs would hold him, such a crushing blow her words had dealt. His grip was still tight on his weapon, but it was suddenly very, very heavy.

Was this how it felt to have your heart torn apart?

She had commanded her words in the tone of royalty, once again reminding him of his place. He was a commoner, and she was a princess- no, she was a queen. The time that they had travelled together as fugitives was nothing more than a mere memory. There was no longer a need to be her bodyguard, no longer any need to be her Shield. They had succeeded in uniting the kingdoms, in installing peace throughout the empire. Her being here in Hiryuu Castle, where he had promised to return her, was proof that they had completed the mission that she had begun three years ago.

It was time to let go.

Now that she had released him from his bonds, there was no place left for him here at the castle. He was no longer General Son Hak of the Wind Tribe, and he was no longer the princess' bodyguard.

There was no place left where he could stay to be with her.

He had resigned himself to be content to continue to watch her, guard her and protect her for as long as he lived. Even when the time came that she would have to choose her husband, Kouka's would-be emperor, he thought he could bear it, just as long as he could be near her presence.

But she had taken away the very last thing that would allow him to remain by her side.

It anguished him.

He could not bear to look at her now, the way he is at this moment. He didn't want her to see how much she had hurt him. He found his voice, and willed it to sound steady.

"Then, your Majesty, I take my leave. May the Gods look favorably upon your reign."

—o—o—o—o—o—

Yona bit her quivering lip. She watched him stand, not raising his eyes nor head as he slowly, respectfully bowed his head lower and started to turn.

Away from her.

She had not expected him to take her words so seriously, had expected him to look at her with his lopsided grin and smirk at her and say annoying things like _Did you think you can command me to break my vow just coz you're the Empress now?_ , had expected him to just ignore what she decreed, and they would fall back into their usual, casual demeanor with each other. Even though she gave him his freedom, she had thought he would stay to be with her. Did she just imagine what she thought he felt about her? Was she wrong in thinking that somehow, someday, he would eventually come to see her as a woman? Not as the princess, not as the queen, not as his childhood friend, but as a woman?

But here she was, watching his retreating back, heading towards the chamber exit. Was all those teasing whispers, those gentle caresses he gave her, his words of encouragement and devotion to her- did she really just imagine the warmth she saw in his eyes, the gentleness she felt in his touch in all those years together? Did he really feel so little about her that he would leave her like this?

He was only a few steps away from the door.

She knew she would never see him again if she let him go now. What could she say to make him stay?

She checked herself.

Was she really so selfish that she would hold him to her forever, as she wanted to? Was she really so uncaring about him that she would bind him to her side?

 _Yes._

 _Oh God, yes._

The certainty her thoughts had taken shattered her. How could it have taken her so long to realize it?

 _I want to be with him forever._

As her mind finally acknowledged what her heart had known all along, her resolve crumbled. Unbidden, her tears started to fall. She was going to have to rescind her words after all.

She was still watching his back, his steps taking him further away from her.

What could she say?

"Hak."

—o—o—o—o—o—

He stopped in his tracks, but did not turn to look back at her. This simple act of refusing to face her was not unnoticed. It made her throw caution to the wind.

"Your Majesty?" he responded, to show her that he would wait until she dismissed him. Patiently waiting, as always.

"Hak."

Her voice suddenly sounded closer to him, even though it was almost a whisper. He slightly turned his head, making sure to keep his entire body facing the doorway, to show her that he intended to leave as soon as he heard what else she had to say.

It slightly surprised him to find her almost right behind him, as if she had run towards him as soon as she called his name the first time. He tried not to linger on how the way she had called him- it was as if her voice was a caress against his heart.

He almost shook his head, unwilling to let his thoughts fan his hopes, unwilling to feel the warmth he felt the way his name rolled so familiarly off her tongue.

"Hak, please look at me."

There was a pleading in her voice that made his heart ache- he could never deny her anything that she asked of him, no matter how hard it was on him, no matter how raw her rejection of him ran deep. He would always give her whatever it was she needed and wanted.

And so he turned and closed the distance between them, allowing himself to be near her one last time.

"What is it?"

Was that his voice? When did it sound so raspy and hoarse? Why did he find it so difficult to breathe? If her final parting words to him were _good luck_ or _be happy_ , he would not be able to respond other than to offer her a curt nod before leaving.

"Hak, give yourself to me."

—o—o—o—o—o—

Yona didn't know what exactly made her choose those words to say, but they left her mouth before she could still her tongue. Her eyes widened as she realized that she had just asked- no demanded him to devote his entire being to her. After she had just given him back his freedom.

It was the exact same lines she said to him when he tried to leave her with the Wind Tribe all those years ago.

Except- she was saying them for a different reason this time.

She took a step closer to him.

"You are my strength; my will to keep on going. You are my childhood friend with whom I have shared so much with…" she faltered, unnerved by the sudden harrowed look in his eyes. "You are the rock on which I have built my courage and my resolve to complete the tasks at hand. You are my Shield, my protector."

She took one more step, and now reached out both of her hands to take hold of his cheeks. She could feel her cheeks flame as she pulled his face a little closer to her. Then she dropped her head and solemnly, gently rested her forehead against his chin.

"You are my light in my times of darkness and despair. You are my truth, my one true and constant truth, as I wandered in and out of the reality of what I needed to accomplish. You were with me through it all."

Hak had gone rigid- she could feel his stiffness even though she was only touching his face, her body not yet closing the remaining distance between them.

"Hak, I-" she hesitated, still keeping his chin locked on her forehead. She didn't dare to look into his eyes.

"- I cannot imagine a world without you by my side." Her voice sounded so small. She swallowed. "I need you to be with me. Not as my servant, not as my bodyguard."

"Hak, give yourself to me," she repeated, her voice now trailing off into mere whisper.

—o—o—o—o—o—

His resolve was crumbling.

The moment she had captured his face in her small, delicate hands and pulled him firmly closer to her, he knew he had already lost the battle within himself.

How could he leave her? How did he even consider it?

Everything she had said to him now, every word of it- it was exactly what she was, what she _is_ to him. She was the reason for his existence.

And now, to hear these words from her, it was _his_ truth. _She_ was his truth.

Her fervent words reverberated over and over throughout his being. He could feel life returning to his legs, to his arms, to his very core.

To be able to remain by her side. It was enough. It had to be.

He gently put his hands around hers, pulling them down from his cheeks. He sank down on one knee and cupped her chin up so he could look into her eyes again.

He heard her breath hitch in her throat as he coaxed her to look at him. Were those tears? The moonlight made them glisten against her skin. He took one hand and gently wiped them away with a sensual glide of his thumb.

"Princess, I have always been yours."

He watched her eyes widen in surprise and caught something in the way she looked at him. Was there wonder in her eyes? Relief? And perhaps something else? Could he dare to hope that she harbored something for him as well, something akin to how he felt about her? Honestly, it wasn't really important right now, because all he wanted was to be with her. It was enough.

Her arms went around his neck, and she leaned into him, kneeling, her body meeting his, her cheek nuzzling against his neck. The gesture had caught him off-guard, but he instinctively wrapped his arms around her petite frame, holding her closer to him. He closed his eyes, savoring the way she felt in his arms, gratitude overflowing in his veins. To be with her this way was more precious to him than she would ever know.


	2. Chapter 2

**"BEFORE THE DAWN"**

An Akatsuki no Yona fanfic by Nozomi888

[A/N: Thank you **Rockin' Angels** for your review! I'm so glad you feel that I was able to capture both of them in Chapter 1- it was really my intent to dive into their hidden emotions there. Don't worry, the, uhrm, heated action scene you are hoping for will come (this was originally intended to be a rated MA+ one-shot). But not just yet. ;) There are still some barriers between them that need to be broken down. ]

Disclaimer: Akatsuki No Yona is owned by Mizuho Kusanagi. I am a mere fangirl who loves the characters she has created, and want to read/write more stories about them.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 2**

Yona didn't know how long they knelt there by the door, not moving, not saying anything. She basked in the gloriousness of feeling him in her embrace, letting relief flood over her, welcoming the warmth of his touch. She wondered how he was feeling now, if he felt as much joy as she did. His words had become like a mantra to her. _I have always been yours._

She understood now that she had always been his as well.

He gently pulled away from her. She looked at him, puzzled.

He was smiling that gentle smile of his, the one he seemed to reserve only for her. His left hand traced her cheek, his tender touch belying the callouses and scars on his strong hands.

She put her hand over his, and turned her face to his open palm, tracing her lips over the rough ridges along his palm, before finally planting a soft kiss.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

He jerked his hand away suddenly, as if burned by her touch, but he gave her a small smile and waved his arms towards the direction of her sleeping chambers.

"It's late. Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake," he promised her, grasping her hand as he kissed her knuckles to bid her goodnight.

She heard him, but couldn't bring herself to move away from him. Not when she had just discovered how wonderful it felt to be in his arms. He had always held her close like this before, but this time felt so much more different, more fulfilling somehow. She wanted more.

"Hak, didn't I just say that you didn't need to be my bodyguard anymore?"

He chuckled then.

"Princess, I'm here because I want to be here, and I'll keep guard over you, just as I have always done, because I want to."

She bit her lip, contemplating about the wisdom of what she was about to ask him.

—o—o—o—o—o—

After his announcement, he had intended to firmly send her off to bed again, and resume his usual post by the door, but was distracted when she bit her lip. The moonlight was teasing him again, showing him her delightfully entrancing expression. She was thinking about something for sure, but he was curious as to what it was that made her worry her lip so.

In truth, he did not want to leave her now when both of them were still emotionally vulnerable to the confessions that they had just made to each other. It was not exactly a declaration on both their parts, and he would not plant false hope within his heart despite her earnest words about what he meant to her. After all, she had not explicitly declared that she loved him.

He felt a little sad at that. He would have to give her up when she married, and he would not trouble her with his own feelings; would not even consider holding her back.

And now that they had gotten back some semblance of normalcy between them, he simply wanted them to fall back into their usual, comfortable space around each other.

"If you don't march off to bed now, I'll carry you there myself," he teased, anticipating her embarrassed outrage or that withering stare of hers before she rolled her eyes.

He was truly not prepared for her response.

"Would you- keep me company for a bit longer? Your presence soothes me."

He raised his eyebrows at her, questioning. She had lowered her head a little when she spoke, suddenly a little shy.

Ah, she was full of surprises tonight.

Since he was also reluctant to leave her just yet, he took her hand instead and tugged her towards the direction of her bed.

"I'll stay here in your room until you fall asleep."

This time, she obeyed him and crawled up into her bed, shifting towards the center. As she got comfortable, she turned to him, patting expectantly on the space beside her.

"It'll be more comfortable for both of us if you sit here. This way, I don't have to watch you watch me, and you can rest a bit."

He gave out what he hoped sounded like an exasperated sigh, put his Hsu Quandao against the wall beside her bed, and sank half of his body onto the mattress, with one leg planted firmly on the floor. He leaned himself back into her pillows. He closed his own eyes.

"Sleep," he muttered.

—o—o—o—o—o—

The grouchy man beside her was definitely like the Hak of old, and while she was partially relieved that the awkwardness between them had gone, she was also feeling slightly put-out by his casual behavior. Didn't he realize how much of a toll this evening had taken on her? She had felt like she was dying when she gave him back his freedom, had felt herself battling despair when he had turned to leave, had felt like she was being torn from the inside as she spoke words to him from her heart about what he was to her.

And now, he was acting like nothing happened. Was he trying to set things back to the way they were?

But there was no going back now, right?

She peeked up at the man beside her. Hak had closed his eyes. His arms were crossed over his chest, his body angled in a way that his left leg relaxed on the beddings while his right leg was still over the side, undoubtedly on the floor, to make it easier for him to get off the bed without disturbing her. That was so like Hak to put her above his own comfort, and she started to relax as she felt the now-familiar warmth spread throughout her body.

His breathing had evened out, and there was now a sense of calmness settled over him. That much she could tell. She wondered how he could be so relaxed when she was feeling butterflies in her stomach? She felt like her heart would escape from her chest at anytime, given how fast it seemed to be beating. Every fiber of her being was fully aware of him stretched out beside her.

Oh how she wanted to reach out to him again, to feel his closeness against her body, to have his arms around her. Would it be appropriate to ask him if she could touch him? She could feel her face heating.

Since when did she become so bold around Hak?

She didn't think she'd be able to voice out another request of him, didn't trust her voice to speak.

So she turned her body to face him, inched a little closer, and leaned her head against his arm.

—o—o—o—o—o—

Hak's eyes didn't open, but he was far, very far, from being asleep. He had felt her gaze upon him and had opted not to speak, since it would encourage conversation when he wanted her to rest. He had a feeling that she was a bit disgruntled, judging from the way she shifted around. He chose to ignore it.

He could not, however, ignore the sensations she woke within him when she leaned her cheek into his arm.

Such sweet torture.

How many years had he longed for her to initiate a touch? How many years since he'd wanted her to look at him, really look at him, and see more than a servant? How many years had he yearned for a moment like tonight? And now, finding himself in the very situation he wanted to be in, he was refusing to act on them.

If she wanted to use him as a pillow to fall asleep, he would endure. He would not betray her trust.

He tried to stay still, but then she moved her left arm and covered the fingers of his right hand, which was still crossed over his chest.

He couldn't resist. He opened his fingers and intertwined them with hers. He could at least allow himself this much, right?

"Go to sleep, Princess," he chided.

The soften his words, he turned to plant a light kiss atop her head.

She stilled.

 _Oh, did she feel that?_ He waited for her to pull away.

Neither of them moved.

Then, Yona raised herself higher on the pillows.

He opened his mouth to tell her off again, but was silenced immediately by her soft lips, pressing up hard against his.


End file.
